Today in Buenos Aires I saw a car driving around pulling a trailer with a big sign advertising something called a Telo. Only $40 pesos for 2 hours of fun! (less than $12 US) Curious, I asked my Brazilian friends from school what it was and, howling, they offered to take me there!
One of the racier and more unusual discoveries here in Buenos Aires is the Telo. From “Albergue Transitorio”, or “temporary lodging”, a Telo is a 'pay by the hour' hotel.
Before coming here, I'd only seen places like these on really bad late night TV movies which looked pretty gross and were associated with prostitution. But here, in a place where 'kids' often live at home until they're married or living with their partners, the idea of a Telo is widely accepted. This can mean a 30+ year old 'kid' living with the parents and dating a possible Mr./Mrs. “Right” might need a bit of privacy. So they go to the Telo (love hotel) for an amorous encounter!
Even the most basic rooms have mirrored ceilings, and huuuge beds that resemble adult trampolines..A packet of condoms, bearing the Telo’s logo and extolling the virtues of safe sex, lies next to the bed, which is covered with a fuzzy pink throw that matches the cotton candy pink upholstery on the two chairs and the shag carpet. I’m starting to feel like I’ve been transported to Marsha Brady’s bedroom in the 1970’s. But Marsha Marsha Marsha never set foot in one of these. At least not on the Brady Bunch.
My Brazilian friends start jumping on the bed; for five pesos it vibrates. “You HAF to see DIS!” they cackle, switching on the TV remote. Porn. Every channel. Porn and more porn. A regular porn fest. Except, incomprehensibly, for one channel devoted entirely to professional soccer.
Room service is delivered by a two-door dumbwaiter so guests never have to disturbed by the intrusion of the help. Part of the appeal, I’m told, is the rabid guarding of one’s privacy. I’m guessing the desk clerks are used to seeing everything here. They didn’t even blink when five of us (four women one man) walked in together--they just gave us the largest room in the place and a packet of towels.
If it all sounds a litle seedy, it is, but that’s all part of the fun. Telos are to Argentina what the back seat of cars are to North Americans-except cleaner.
So after looking around the place, how did the five of us spend our golden two hours in the Telo?
We ordered beers from room service and watched the soccer match.
